


eight months and a t-shirt business

by envai (larryschoir)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Anxiety Disorder, Bad Flirting, Depression, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, Suicide, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-25
Updated: 2017-07-25
Packaged: 2018-12-06 17:16:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 6,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11605224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/larryschoir/pseuds/envai
Summary: Lance is bored almost twenty-four hours of the day, seven days of the week and is determined to notify Keith every single time. Keith, on the other hand, is irritated almost twenty-four hours of the day, seven days of the week. Their friendship begins to blossom into a romance, until both of their lives take a dark turn.a.k.a the texting fic that i wrote out of pure boredom.it's not that great.DISCLAIMER: do not read if you are sensitive and might be triggered by themes of suicide and depression. there are also veeery slight mentions of substance abuse.





	1. one

**Author's Note:**

> lance is bold. keith is italicized.

 

         june 6 2017.

 

**hey keith!**

_…hi lance_

**what are you up to!!!**

_chilling_

_wbu_

**im chilling too**

**we should like.**

**chill together**

_why_

**cause we’re buddys!! that’s what buddys do!!  
** _buddies*_

**….so u admit we r buddies**

_if that’s what floats your boat lance_

**dude**

**keith**

**one day.**

**im gonna buy a bigass boat**

**a cruise**

_omfg_

**and,,,**

**and its gonna have soft serve ice cream and a waterslide**

**man its gonna be so cool**

**keith**

**u r officially invited to my cruise ship**

_lance where are you gonna buy a boat_

**a cruise**

_where are you gonna buy a cruise_

**at the cruise shop**

_what_

_im_

_im not even gonna ask what that is_

**keith im so excited about this cruise**

**pICTURE THIS: ME WITH SUNGLASSES**

**WEARING AN ASCOT TIE**

_how do you plan on paying for this_

**ON MY CRUISE**

**when im rich and famous**

**dont worry i wont forget u bro**

**keef this cruise is my only will to live**

_did you just call me keef_

_that is so weird_

_you’re so weird_

_and how are you gonna get rich and famous_

**im talented keef**

**and tge nicknames staying**

_god_

_ok_

**keef im so tired**

_go to bed then_

**keef i cant**

_literally why not_

**....**

**im too tired keef**

_youre too tired. to go to bed._

_you know_

_sometimes_

_i literally cannot stand you_

**haha who would**

**bye**

_what_

**u want me to leave**

**talk to you later keith**

_what_

_lance_

_wait no don’t go_

_talk to you later_

         june 7 2017.

 

**GOOD MORNING SUNSHINE**

**ARE YOU EVEN AWAKE**

**IS THIS THE APPROPRIATE TIME THAT PEOPLE WAKE UP**

_morning_

_and yeah ive been up for a few hours_

**NICE ME TOO**

**WE SHOULD HAVE TEXTED EARLIER**

_are you ok_

**ya why wouldnt i be**

_you were all emotional last night_

_and now you’re like._

_super excited_

**thinking about my massive boat**

**keith you’re gonna love my boat**

_god not this again_

**;-; keith will u ever love me**

**…or my boat**

_lance._

_you are the weirdest person i know_

**:P**

 

**keith r u busy**

_no_

_why_

**wanna facetime**

_why_

_no_

**what!!!**

**why**

_im…._

_doing something_

**keith u just said ur nt busy**

_i am now_

         june 8 2017.

 

_lance where are you_

_lance_

_hello_

_you’re 15 minutes late_

**AHH FRICK SORRY**

**I CAN EXPLAIN**

_don’t waste time explaining. just_

_please get here soon_

**ok sorry omw**

 

_are you fucking insane_

**probably yeah**

**why tho**

_you ran like 5 red lights on the way back!!!_

_and! you weren’t even wearing a seatbelt_

**its ok im an amazng driver**

_im just shocked you weren’t pulled over_

**shocked? id be impressed**

_impressed at what!!_

_i swear you were trying to get us killed!!  
_ **its cool keith**

**besides**

**whats the worst that could happen**

_we could d i e_

**ok and**

_wym ok and???_

**keith just get your license and drive yourself**

_i have my license i just cant get a car_

_don’t have the $$$  
_ **oh shit sorry man**

_no worries you didn’t know_

 

_lance this picture of a shrimp reminded me of you_

**that is hands down The Best™ text i’ve received all day**

_do you like it_

**i lov it**

**thnk u keef**

_….and the nickname is back_

**did it ever really leave**

_i wish_

_anyways_

_what are you up to_

**watching only… the best show ever**

_is it steven universe_

**of course!!  
do u want to come watch it with me!!**

_hate to break it to you_

_but i am not a fan of cartoons_

**oh come on keith**

**i know you had an anime phase in middle school**

_i bingewatched death note once in 7th grade_

**please keef**

**u r literally the embodiment of a cartoon character**

**Emo Keith**

**thts u**

_ok fine but im not watching more than two hours of it_

**WAIT REALLY**

_sure_

**woah**

_woah what_

**you actually care about my interests ;-;**

_can you pick me up_

**yeah ofc**

**be there in 5**

**here**

_ok wait hold up i can’t find my shoes_

**dw abt it**

_ok so i’m still confused_

**keef.**

**its 2 in the morning**

**go to bed**

_so the three “gems” are his moms._

_but he’s his mom too?_

_and you can’t say anything! you’re still up too_

**touché.**

**ill explain to u the whole mom thing tmrw IF**

_if?_

**if u go to bed**

**beauty sleep keith**

_you’re awake too???_

**fine**

**ill sleep if u sleep i guess**

**deal?  
** _deal._


	2. two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> flirting

june 9 2017.

 

**keith**

**keith**

**keeeith**

**keith!!**

**KEITH**

**KEEEIHT**

**keith pls**

**keith**

**bro**

**keith**

_lance_

**KEITH**

**HEY KEITH**

_hey lance_

_what is it_

**i love you <3333**

_thanks_

**wht**

_i just wanted to say thanks_

**for wht**

_idk you said you love me_

_so thanks_

**ok**

_just ok?_

**hey IM not the one who left you on Read for five hours**

**and then proceeded to just say “thanks”**

_what was i supposed to say!!_

**i was always taught to respond with “i love you too” if i love them back**

**so i guess you just don’t love me**

**right?**

_what_

_no_

_i didn’t mean to leave you on read for five hours_

**you know what this reminds me of**

_what_

**my favorite children’s tale**

_what is it_

**Keith Kogane and the Five Hour Accident**

_lance i didn’t mean to_

_i didn’t think it was such a big deal_

**:/**

**listen**

**i’d put me through five hours of anxiety if i were you too**

_lance_

_lance i’m sorry_

_you there?_

_lance?_

_hey i’m sorry_

_i didn’t mean to hurt you i’m sorry_

_i didn’t think it would bother you so much_

**you know me,**

**so dramatic**

_lance_

_don’t do this_

**yeah**

**i’m totally the wrong one rn**

**iiii’m the shitty person here**

**got it**

_lance i apologized_

**cool**

**talk to you some other time keith**

_stop that_

**ok**

**hi i know its really late but i’m sorry that i was being like that earlier**

**i hope you’re not mad at me but if you are it’s okay it’s totally justified**

**i was kind of being a dick and it makes sense you’d be upset by that**

**if it matters i still really love you ! <333**

         june 10 2017.

 

_morning._

_i’m sorry about my part of the fight yesterday. can’t believe we spent the whole day unhappy_

**hey**

**it’s okay. i’m sorry too**

_hey i know you love that ice cream place that’s right by starbucks_

_we should go today  
1230 good with you?_

**are you asking me out on a date**

_are you in or not_

**alright alright!**

**i’d love to**

_you ran to the bathroom 15 minutes ago, are you okay?_

**yeah**

**sorry**

**my ex is here**

**and he’s with a girl**

**didn’t want him to see me**

**so i’m here**

_do you need me to come there?_

**no no it’s okay**

**i can come back**

**is he still there?**

_blonde hair styled w/ gel?_

**ugh yeah**

_unfortunately_

**will you please please please do me a favor**

_anything_

**will you pretend to be my boyfriend so i don’t look like a total loser**

**please**

_yeah_

_of course_

**also he’ll be jealous cause you’re totally an upgrade**

**thank you keith**

_no worries_

_now come out of the bathroom_

**okay**

**that was fun! we should go out again sometime**

_i agree :)_

_just one question tho_

**whAT ARE THOOOOOOSEEE**

_lance that joke is so old_

**thts fair**

**whats ur question**

_it was like super hot today why did you wear your jacket_

**keef!!!**

**how dare you**

**a) its My Jacket™**

**also b) if im sweating hot it makes the ice cream seem cooler**

_you are so odd_

**but you love me ;)**

_lol_

**YOU DIDNT DENY IT**

_whoops_

**KEITH KOGANE DO YOU LOVE ME**

_lance mcclain i might_

**:DDDDD**

**keith!!!!!**

_lance!!!!_

**i love talking to you keef**

_lance are you high_

**no i just really like talking to you!!**

_in that case_

_talking to you isn’t that bad either_

**:) yay**

**hey keith**

**theres something i want to get off my chest**

**cause like we’re starting to become really close**

**and like**

**i don’t want to hide anything**

_what is it??_

**oh hey you’re here**

**for some reason i didn’t expect you to respond**

_yeah_

_what’s up_

**you know what**

**it was dumb**

**nevermind**

_oh alright_

         june 11 2017.

 

_good morning lance_

**good morning sunshine**

_hey_

**hey**

_hey_

**hey**

_hey_

**hey**

_hey_

**hey**

_hey_

**hey**

_lance_

**woah way to break the streak keith**

_lance_

**keef**

_i liked hanging out with you yesterday_

_i was just wondering if maybe like next week we could go catch a movie together?_

**next week???**

**i can’t**

_what_

_why not_

**i have trouble with making plans in advance.**

**i like to live in the present**

**lets see a movie tonight!!!  
** _tonight?_

_i mean_

_okay alright_

_none of the movies showing tonight look good_

**try a different theatre?**

_i looked at all the ones within an hour of your house_

_we’re out of luck_

_sorry_

**dya wanna just come here**

**we can just like browse through netflix**

**i can order a pizza**

_oh well i don’t want to make you pay_

**it’s pizza, keef**

_alright_

_this isn’t like a netflix and chill type thing tho, right_

**nt unless u want it to be ;)**

_goodness gracious lance_

**i’ll pick u up in a bit yea**

_ok_

**here**

**keef i miss u alreadyyyyy**

**but for the record im a better cuddler**

_shdkjhj no way did you see the way i was cradling you_

**keef ur so warm**

**idk what im gonna do w/o u ;-;**

_you really like that emoticon_

**i really like you ;-;**

**i miss you ;-;**

_i miss you more_

**no you don’t!!! ;-;**

**i miss you the most and im gonna prove it**

_not if i do first_

_ok but no homo tho right_

_just bros?_

**yeah. just bros.**


	3. three

         june 12 2017.

 

**keith**

_lance_

**i bet my crush is cuter than yours**

_i wouldn’t believe that for a second_

_and good morning to you too_

**alright,,, try me**

**what’s she like**

_ugh i don’t want to_

**do i sniff a forfeit????**

**guess mine’s cuter by default then.**

**bummer. she would have won anyways**

_ok fine my crush has really pretty blue eyes_

**blue eyes?? lame**

**my gal has……blue eyes too**

_ha_

_my crush screams everytime she gets even remotely scared_

_is that cute or what_

**ok well mine has a beautiful smile**

**hows ur girls smile**

**not as good looking as my girl’s**

_-.- my crush’s smile is gorgeous i’ll have you know_

**my crush has a cute name**

**whats ur crushs name**

_dude you don’t think that’s a little personal_

**bro im not asking how often u jack off to pics of her**

**just wanna know her name gd**

_ok fine_

_it’s claire_

**claire huh**

_now you have to tell me your girl’s name_

**i don’t know any claires**

_family friend_

_what’s your girl’s name!!_

**kate**

_how do you know her_

**she went to the garrison, really smart engineer**

_oh_

_cool_

_nice_

_OMG LANCE_

_LACNE_

_LLANCE_

**YO KEITH WHATS UP**

_I GOT A MOTORCYCLE_

_I FINALLY SAVED UP ENOUGH FOR A MOTORCYCLE_

_anD I GOT IT AND ITS MINE_

**KEITH THATS SO COOL**

**YOU HAVE TO SHOW ME**

**OMGGGG**

**i want a motorcycle ;-;**

_yOU CAN RIDE MINE ANYTIME_

**;)**

_LANCE IM DEAD SERIOUS IMMMMMM AHH_

_I LOVE IT_

_YOURE GONNA LOVE IT_

**this is just one step in the right direction**

**you know whats next**

_WHAT_

**my Boat**

_LANCE I LOVE YOU DEARLY BUT I DON’T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND_

_I HAVE A MOTORCYCLE_

_AND IT’S ALL MINE_

_AND YOU DON’T HAVE TO GIVE ME RIDES ANYMORE_

**oh shit you right**

**NICE KEITH**

_THANKS LANCE_

         june 13 2017.

 

_lance let’s cut the bullshit_

**??????????**

**what bullshit keith**

**i’m just as excited about your motorcycle as you are**

_no i mean that there’s no kate_

**hahahhahah what**

_i’ll expose a huge secret about claire if you admit that there’s no kate_

**alright well her secret better be super embarrassing**

**and you better tell her:**

**that on the occasion i, Lance McClain,**

**cuddle AND FLIRT WITH her crush**

**i need a good rep in the dating pool**

_so kate doesn’t exist?_

**sigh**

**kate doesn’t exist ;-;**

_cool_

**WAIT WHAT ABOUT THE SECRET I GET IN RETURN.**

**I CANT JUST BE EXPOSED FOR FAKING A CRUSH AND GET NOTHING IN RETURN**

**KEITH**

**KEITH KOGANE**

_you know you’re claire right_

**WHAATHSKHT**

_lance you’re my crush_

_i thought you had picked up on that but_

_guess not_

**are we dating now**

**is this a thing**

**are we dating**

_i mean not technically_

_but we both know_

_i guess you went to bed_

_i love you lance  
_

 


	4. four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yikes.

         june 14 2017.

 

MISSED CALL FROM LANCE

**keith i didn’t mean to leave you on read earlier**

**keith i want you to know it’s not your fault**

**keith i love you**

**i don’t want to hurt you**

**haha how do i say this**

**alright so**

**for starters, this isn’t your fault at all. you make me so happy, keith. you know that?  like when i’m having the shittiest day, you make things better. you really really mean a lot to me. but i have a problem, for lack of better words lol.**

**i’ve reached the point where life is meaningless, and i’m really sad. not a day goes by where i don’t feel useless. it’s like…some sort of cycle that isn’t going to end. i wake up, i do the same junk everyday, i go to bed, rinse and repeat, right?**

**i wanna say thank you for making these past few days count. it means way more than you think. thanks for cuddling with me, thanks for going for ice cream with me, thanks for watching steven universe with me. best part is that you weren’t treating me like i was about to go. it was genuine and that’s how i wanted things to end.**

**i wanted to date you keith**

**i really did & i still do. **

**but i was just gonna get worse**

**i didn’t want to put you through that**

**i didn’t want to hurt you more than i might be now**

**don’t worry about me, though. don’t grieve. i’m okay. like, you already know i’m going to find a niceass boat the second i get out of here.**

**i love you keith :)**

MISSED CALL FROM HUNK

 

VOICEMAIL FROM HUNK:

 

“Hey Keith, um, so Lance isn’t responding to my texts, which is weird. He’s typically online like…all the time — you know how he’s literally glued to his phone, haha. I’m just concerned, because like, I’m sure he tells you how hard things are for him, an-and I don’t want anything bad to happen, you know? I don’t know, I’m probably overreacting, but I figured you might know more than I do. So…call me back if you hear from him, yeah? Thanks, pal. I’ll talk to you later. Bye.”

_lance_

_fuck_

_fuck fuck fuck_

_oh god_

_i don’t even know what to say_

_oh my god_

MESSAGE FROM SHIRO: Are you at Lance’s house.

MESSAGE FROM PIDGE: is lance ok??

MESSAGE FROM SHIRO: Should I come?

MISSED CALL FROM SHIRO

MESSAGE FROM PIDGE: do you know what happened?

MESSAGE FROM PIDGE: neither hunk nor lance will respond to my texts 

MISSED CALL FROM PIDGE

MESSAGE FROM PIDGE: keith???

MESSAGE FROM PIDGE: are you there??

MESSAGE FROM ALLURA: Keith.

MESSAGE FROM PIDGE: where is everyone???

MESSAGE FROM SHIRO: Keith I need to know if I should be there.

MESSAGE FROM SHIRO: I am on my way.

MESSAGE FROM CORAN: Hello Keith!!!! Have you heard from Lance!!????!?!

MESSAGE FROM UNKNOWN NUMBER: hey, lance said i should contact this number while he’s gone. do you know if he’s okay?

MESSAGE FROM ALLURA: What happened to Lance?

MESSAGE FROM UNKNOWN NUMBER (2): Is this Keith?

MESSAGE FROM UNKNOWN NUMBER (2): Is this Keith?

MESSAGE FROM PIDGE: keith????

MESSAGE FROM UNKNOWN NUMBER (2): Oops. Sorry, I didn’t mean to send that twice.

MESSAGE FROM UNKNOWN NUMBER: i’m really concerned about him

MESSAGE FROM UNKNOWN NUMBER: please respond when you know he’s okay

MESSAGE FROM SHIRO: Could you please unlock the door. I’m here.

MISSED CALL FROM PIDGE

MESSAGE FROM UNKNOWN NUMBER (2): Have you heard from Lance?

MISSED CALL FROM SHIRO

 


	5. five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yikes (pt. 2)

     june 15 2017.

 

_you know, it didn’t hit me that you were gone until i saw you yesterday,_

_noose and all._

_you really wanted to go, didn’t you?_

_like_

_you had three methods at your fingertips_

_and you took advantage of all of them_

_i didn’t even know you drank_

_do you even drink normally??_

_did* i guess_

_and i didn’t know that you took antidepressants_

_i don’t know what i thought you meant when you went to take your meds_

_i guess i thought they were antibiotics or probiotics or something_

_but you’d been taking them since we met_

_that’s probably why i didn’t question it_

_kinda ironic that they were part of the reason you died_

_it had been a while since i last saw your mother_

_i didn’t think that she’d scream_

_it was like_

_a really dramatic movie_

_the note you left was really sweet_

_i wish you were still here_

_i wish you were still here_

_i wish you were still here_

 

_it hasn’t even been a day and i miss you so much_

_i don’t know why i’m texting you, you won’t get these messages_

_i can’t believe i didn’t see this coming_

_i should have helped you_

_rereading our texts it makes sense_

_i’m so stupid_

_goodnight lance_

june 16, 2017.

 

_good morning lance_

_they were so sad they were so sad to see you_

_i wish i helped you_

_i wish i helped you_

_i don’t believe it_

_i don’t believe you’re gone_

_i’m watching steven universe_

_i should have watched more with you_

_it’s so weird that you’re not responding_

_respond please_

_tell me it’s a joke lance_

_please come back tomorrow and tell us it was all a prank_

_please_

_you’d have to apologuzee y o  eve r yone you mad e cry_

_i’m fuckign  g cryingg_

_thanks lance_

_this sin’t funn y anymore p lease come backc_

_please please please_

_funeral tomorrow_

_i love you_

_goodnight lance_

june 17 2017.

 

_good morning lance_

_you look so beautiful_

_i wish you could respond_

_i shouldn’t be texting_

_this is so disrespectful_

_oh who am i disrespecting_

_the only person i could disrespect here is you and you’re fucking DEAD_

_they’re mad at me i yelled at them_

_i’m sorry i made them mad_

_i just_

_i miss you_

_they’re CARRYING YOU IN A FUCKING COFFIN AND YOU’RE NOT DOING ANYTHING ABOUT IT_

_GET OUT_

_TELL THEM YOU’RE JOKING_

_LANCE_

_fhhhgkhkjhkh if the day you died wasn’t the worst day of my life then this definitely is_

_jjjjjjjjjjjj LANCE_

_YOUR FAMILY WON’T STOP CRYING THE JOKE IS OVER LANCE_

_IT’S DONE_

_LANCE STOP THIS_

_FUCKING STOP IT_

_goodnight lance_


	6. six

june 18, 2017.

 

_good morning lance_

_today will be uneventful_

_i miss you_

_goodnight lance_

june 19, 2017.

 

_good morning lance_

_i miss you_

_goodnight lance_

june 20, 2017.

 

_good morning lance_

_i'm tired_

_i miss you_

june 22, 2017.

 

_the group keeps trying to talk to me????_

_you just died like a week ago?? i can’t???_

_pidge is at my fucking apartment i don’t want to Get Some Fresh Air i want to sulk and think about you_

june 23, 2017.

 

_i could have fucking helped you_

june 27, 2017.

 

_lance you are the only person i want to talk to_

_i don’t want to talk to them_

june 30, 2017.

 

_it’s official. i have forgotten how to ride a motorcycle_

_either that or i’m too fucking tired to do this_

july 3, 2017.

 

_i threw up twice last night it was so gross_

_oh, and about my motorcycle_

_turns out: i can ride it_

_i was just being stupid that day_

_your family has invited me to spend tomorrow with them??_

_i figured one day they’d ask me but i thought that’d be after you introduced me as your boyfriend haha_

_i mean if we were dating_

_if you were alive_

_they’re probably just inviting me because they feel bad that i never leave my room_


	7. seven

july 4, 2017.

 

_happy independence day lance_

_if you were here you’d have facepaint decorating you and i’d laugh and call you a nerd_

_and you’d wear the most ridiculous outfit but it’d be really cute_

_this is so hard for all of us_

_they’re trying to have fun but they really miss you_

_i really miss you too_

_so your niece - your older brother’s daughter - asked if you were my boyfriend._

_if i was your boyfriend_

_i couldn’t gather a response i just stuttered_

_she patted my back_

_it was sweet but i felt so out of place_

_the fireworks remind me of you_

_the blue ones especially_

_i know blue is your favorite color_

_was*_

_i hate past tense_

_i mean_

_i don’t know_

_you dying didn’t change your favorite color_

_so technically blue is still your favorite color????_

_just got home. your nieces and nephews were impressed by my motorcycle._

_you would have been too._

_some family members of your neighbors were there too?_

_they asked your mom where you were_

_how did you know so many people? like they seemed so excited to see you_

_your mother cried_

_i had to interrupt and say “he’s not with us anymore.”_

_that sucked_

_hey i really fucking imss you_

_miss*_

_i can’t fall asleep_

_goodnight lance_

july 12, 2017.

 

_hunk’s trying to introduce me to a girl??? she’s shay’s friend_

_i’m????_

_does he not know that i’m still head over heels for you????/_

_this just in: he thinks that she’s going to “help take my mind off of…you know”_

_i love hunk but????_

  1. _im gay_
  2. _im gay for a DEAD GUY_



_god he thinks this girl is going to help me feel better_

_newsflash buddy_

_she won’t_

_just because shay helped comfort him doesn’t mean some girl i’ve never met will suddenly make me feel happy_

_that’s not going to happen_

_i know that hunk’s not over you either i just???_

_maybe he’s pretending to be and he wants me to pretend too_

_i don’t know what it is i hate this_

_i don’t even like girls??_

july 14, 2017.

 

_so!!! you’ve been dead for a month!!_

_i have a date today._

_hunk set it up._

_i didn’t want to let him down_

_it’s not going to be fun_

_okay so i’m here, at the restaurant_

_staring at my phone like a dumbass_

_i don’t want to be here_

_i think i see her_

_do i look at her?_

_it’s rude to be on my phone_

_“you seem really tense”_

_hahahahahahhahahhahaha_

_i said “today’s an interesting day”_

_she said “what do you mean??”_

_how do you tell someone politely that today marks one month since your crush, from whom you have not moved on, died_

_that you aren’t attracted to them_

_and that you’re only here because your friend told you to come_

_if you were alive you’d be telling me “get off of ur phone!!! stop being Rude!!!!”_

_calm down lance_

_she’s in the bathroom_

_i’m allowed to be on my phone_

_if you were alive i’d be on a date with you_

_so yeah i didn’t tell her about your one month death anniversary or whatever_

_i didn’t tell her i like someone else_

_i’m trying to be decent and just polite and???? she thinks i like her???_

_SHE WANTS TO COME BAC KTO MY PLACE_

_i have to drive but SHE REALLY DIGS THE MOTORCYCLE_

_THIS WOULD BE A GOOD SITUATION IF IT WAS YOU_

_BUT IT’S NOT YOU_

_IT’S SOME GIRL_

_I DON’T EVEN KNOW HER NAME_

_SHE DEFINITELY WANTS TO NETFLIX AND CHILL_

_your words not mine_

_ABORT MISSION ABORT MISSION_

_this is where you’d step in and help me_

_fhfhfhfh i miss you_

_im pissed cant she tell that im not interested_

_hahhahaha okay so we put on some tv show and she started getting closer and closer and then she tried to kiss me and then i told her i couldn’t_

_she left_

_i told her everything_

_i’m going to bed now_

_goodnight lance_


	8. eight

july 18, 2017.

 

_i literally don’t know what to do_

_i’m so bored_

_okay so i’m starting a t-shirt shop?? i got bored and discovered this really soft fabric_

_i’m going to upload my first design tonight_

_goodnight lance i love you_

july 24, 2017.

 

_so my shirts are doing well_

_like i knew a few people would be interested, they’re cool designs_

_i didn’t know it’d get this much attention though_

_you’d be so proud of me_

_you’d want to work with me_

july 26, 2017.

 

_I CAN’T DO THIS LANCE_

_WHY DID YOU HAVE TO LEAVE_

_I SAW THE GROUP TODAY_

_I CAN’T FUCKING TALK TO THEM WITHOUT YOU COMING UP IN CONVERSATION_

_THEY’VE ACCEPTED THAT YOU’RE GONE BUT THEY’RE STILL SAD_

_WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS_

_EVERYONE’S STILL SAD_

_FUCK YOU LANCE_

_i can;t fucking do this_

july 28, 2017.

 

_happy birthday lance_

_i didn’t think i’d spend your birthday without you_

_it’s weird_

_do you think this happened because i’m not religious_

_do you think if i start believing in God i’ll wake up and find out that this is all a dream_

_i’m not over you_

_i don’t think i ever will be_

_fuck this_

_i’m going to make a design for you on a shirt_

_happy birthday_

_i hope this is what you wanted_

_i wish you were fucking here_

august 1, 2017.

 

_what do i have to do to get you back_

_lance_

_please_

_goodnight_

august 4, 2017.

 

_i bingewatched tv all day today._

_the only good thing about life is my t-shirt business_

_it’s so stupid_

_but i’m making money_

august 16, 2017.

 

_i miss you so much_

_you’ve been gone for two months_

_i miss you_

august 27, 2017.

 

_you know what would be great?_

_if you were alive_

september 30, 2017.

 

_i miss you so much_

_i have 30 thousand followers on my the instagram i made for my business_

_i cater sweatshirts and sleeveless shirts now too_

_i get too many orders now, i forgot to tell you that i’ve employed people haha_

_it’s…interesting_

_living the business life_

_not something i thought i’d be doing_


	9. nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> holidays!

october 15, 2017.

 

_hey lance_

_update: i’m making lots of money_

_sometimes i like to think you read these texts_

_from like the heavens_

_or something_

_and you’ve been trying to respond but they won’t deliver_

october 31, 2017.

 

_happy halloween!!_

_apparently my new place is a trick or treat hotspot_

_oh yeah i moved_

_i’m not in that shitty apartment complex anymore_

_i have money!!!! and a car_

_keeping the motorcycle though_

_i’m feeling happy today?_

_maybe it’s like a one day thing but this is the happiest i’ve been since you left_

_if you were here you’d probably dress up like a “sexy cat” and make jokes about how it didn’t only have to be women in sexy halloween costumes_

november 1, 2017

 

_definitely a one day thing_

_i miss you so much_

november 23, 2017

 

_happy thanksgiving lance_

_i don’t have anyone to spend it with so i’m texting you_

_i’m thankful for the days i did get to spend with you_

_i’m thankful for you_

_i’m thankful for the impact you’ve had on me_

_i’m thankful for our friends. they’re such good people_

_i’m thankful that my motivation returned_

_i’m thankful for the business. i make clothes for a living isn’t that so odd_

_i’m thankful for all of my customers_

_i’m thankful for my employees. i wouldn’t be here without them_

_i’m really thankful for you._

_you made me so happy, and a lot of the things i do are because i know you’d be proud of it_

_i only wish i could have you for just a bit longer._

_maybe we could have made things right._

_goodnight lance_

december 25, 2017

 

_merry christmas lance_

_i bought myself some stuff as a christmas gift_

_it's nice to be able to afford luxuries for myself and not worry about rupturing my savings._

_i don't want to be in that position again_

_i'm going to donate to charities. christmas is for giving, right?_

_i also exchanged gifts with the crew._

_shiro got me new gloves and i love them_

_i wish i could spend christmas with you_

_i wish i could spend literally anyday... anything with you_

_it'd mean so much to me_

_oh i saw a couple's sweatshirt in this store and it reminded me of you._

_that's something you'd buy for us haha_

_i miss being able to text you every single day._

_i miss you being able to respond._

_i've been so busy recently._

_i'm reading our old conversations right now._

_there's a part of me that still feels guilty._

_as if there was something i could have done to make things right._

_i miss your sense of humor_

_i miss your laugh_

_i miss cuddling up next to you_

_i miss your voice_

_i miss talking to you_

_i miss the color of your eyes_

_i miss how you made up a crush to make me jealous, when i was doing the same thing to you_

_i really miss you lance._


	10. ten

december 31, 2017.

 

_it's an hour until midnight._

_i'm not spending new year's with anyone_

_45_

_35_

_30_

_15_

_10_

_9_

_8_

_7_

_6_

_5_

_4_

_3_

_2_

_1_

january 1, 2018.

 

_happy new year's lance!_

_i imagine that if you were still here then you'd be my first new year's kiss_

_i probably wouldn't have been yours but it'd be a nice experience_

_it's like 2 am i need to sleep_

january 2, 2018.

_the guys at work think i'm so tired because i spent the past two nights partying._

_nope._

_joke's on you guys_

_i spent it mourning my dead boyfriend_

_were you ever my boyfriend?_

_idk_

_i miss you_

_oh god so i'm on lunch break right_

_and this guy from the company comes right behind me and starts snooping and looking over my phone_

_this employee is a lot like you._

_the way he acts and everything_

_he looks at my phone and sees all these texts i've been sending and goes_

_"wow! you've got a lot to say!"_

_and i'm like. yeah. haha_

_and he's like "who's lance! you must trust this guy a lot to tell him so much!"_

_"or you just really want to annoy him"_

_and i was like "haha it's a little bit of both" cause i didn't tell him you were DEAD_

_that seems to be a common theme of my life_

_talking to people and not mentioning that the love of my life is dead_

january 24, 2018.

 

_i can't move on._

_ok wait_

_yesterday i went to pride, pidge pushed me to go_

_and it was really cool!_

_met so many cool gay people_

_it was neat, cause they're all like me_

_it made me super happy_

_you would have loved to have gone with me_

_you'd paint the bi pride flag on your face_

_and like probably hold my hand and be super loud_

_anyways_

_i met this one guy_

_and he was really good looking! i'm not going to lie_

_he was also really funny!_

_and so pidge was like "you should take him out on a date!"_

_and so i asked him to go out with me and he was like yeah!_

_((which was interesting i completely expected to be rejected))_

_and we went out and i couldn't do it_

_i couldn't do it six months ago and i can't do it now._

_i can't move on._

_like this guy was really interested in flirting_

_not your type of flirting though_

_like really suave compliments and innuendos_

_that made me feel uncomfortable_

_idk it was nice to know someone else found me attractive_

_but i just felt so awkward_

_your flirting was bold and straightforward and it would make me laugh_

_this guy was nice and all! just not for me_

_and the thing is_

_i think i'm just comparing everyone to you._

_not a smooth move on my part_

_if you were alive you'd love that._

_"wow keith all you can think about is me!! wow i'm so honored"_

_but you're not alive!! you're gone_

_forever! :)))))))))))_

_goodnight lance_

february 14, 2018.

 

_it's valentine's day!_

_i'm lonely as fuck!_

_i wish i was with you!_

_it's been eight months as of today!_

_i'm still not over you!_

_in honor of valentine's day_

_i love you_

february 24, 2018.

 

_okay._

_so._

_here's the deal._

_i bought fucking beach house._

_and you know what._

_i'm buying you a fucking boat._

_it's not going to have soft serve ice cream or a waterslide just yet but it's going to be a fucking boat and it's going to be yours._

_you might not be here to appreciate it but it's yours entirely._

_when you said the boat was your only will to live_

_i didn't think you meant it_

_she's called the s.s. lance, by the way._

february 25, 2018.

 

_i posted a picture of me and the s.s. lance on facebook and captioned it like "what you always wanted :-)" and i thought it would be sweet or something but everyone's mad at me haha like they're texting me "keith. he's gone and you have to move on!" thanks guys! rub it in some more please!_

_like. i know he's gone, that's why i bought him a motherfucking boat_

_i'll move on when i want to move on, thank you very much_

_i'm pissed_

_i've spent the last eight months torn between sulking and accomplishing shit i never thought i could do!_

_can't they just be happy for me??_

_haha omg my subordinate, the one that's like you, just liked my facebook status. he knows you're dead now_

february 26, 2018.

 

_HAHA OKAY SO HE JUST CONFRONTED ME_

_HE'S LIKE "i'm sorry about your loss, sir."_

_LOL ME TOO THANKS "it's okay," i say solemnly, staring off to the side omG_

_THIS IS THE REAL KNEE SLAPPER HERE. "is lance the one in your profile picture?"_

_I'M LIKE yeah._

_"he seems..seemed? like a happy person"  LMAO OK ._

_HE GOES "how long has he been gone?" I GO "it's been eight months. i really miss him."_

_HES LIKE "oh. i'm sorry." AND NOW HE KNOWS THAT THE GUY I WAS TEXTING BEFORE IS DEAD_

_LIKE NOW HE'S PROBABLY THINKING "oh that guy he was texting is dead and has been dead for months"_

_LMAO_

_i just realized that story is a lot more sad than it is funny_

_that's okay_

_i miss you so much_

_i love you_


	11. finale!!!

february 27, 2018.

 

     The morning of Rachel's twelfth birthday was the most exciting morning she had experienced in a long time (since her eleventh birthday, probably). She woke up to an off-key, terribly sung version of Happy Birthday, and a cupcake with a candle. Her mothers were recording the entire thing, from the moment they stepped into her room.  As she opened her eyes and looked around in awe, she saw birthday decorations everywhere. Her doorway had been decorated with streamers, and there were metallic blue pieces of confetti dashed along her bed. She smiled at the decorations as her family greeted her with good morning hugs. They gently handed her the cupcake along with a rectangular box covered in gift wrap, featuring a blue ribbon on top.

     It was tradition within her tight-knit family that once a child had a birthday in their first year of middle school, they would receive their first phone. Her three older brothers were rewarded with the same prize and so she would too, her younger siblings as well in years to come. Rachel's family didn't exactly have waterfalls of cash pouring out of their bank account, so the phones given were never the latest versions. They were always previously used. Rachel did not mind, though. She was thrilled to have a cellular device to call her own.

      Throwing wrapping paper everywhere – after a bite of cupcake – Rachel shouted, "Thank you so much! I'm so excited!" When she opened it, her hands started to tremble. It was some sort of smartphone, one she had yet to see prior to today. Rachel loved it. She was overthrown with joy to have her first phone. Immediately, she requested her brothers' and mothers' phone numbers.  She knew that as soon as she left for school this morning, she would be interrogating her friends for the same information.

     "Oh?" said the petite brunette, pushing her hair behind her ear. "The background is a picture of two boys. Do you know who they are?" Rachel showed the screen of her brand-new phone to her moms, clueless to the men in the picture. The boy on the left had darker skin, yet lighter hair than the one on the right. The two were smiling. They looked like a couple, but Rachel was hesitant to assume anything. One of the ladies in front of her let out a laugh that was uncalled for, and then proceeded to cover her mouth with her hand rapidly.

     "Ha! Oh, no! Rachel, I'm so sorry! The lady I purchased this phone from told me she had forgotten to clear the data before shipping it, and I guess I did too!" spoke Rachel's mother (the shorter of the two), holding back a laugh.  "I'm so sorry, I've been so busy! We'll make sure to clear that before the day is over, hopefully before you go to school today!"

      The taller and blonde lady spoke up. "Kira, I could have done it! We're sorry, Rachel. We know how much you wanted this phone to be entirely yours."  She sat down, looking fondly at her daughter, before placing her arm around Rachel's shoulders.  

     "No, don't worry about it! It's still mine, and I love it. Thank you so much!" she beamed, her cheeks blushing from happiness. Rachel beheld the notifications on her new smartphone. The date made a speedy switch between sometime in June of 2017 (she speculates the 13th, maybe?) to today's date: February 27, 2018. The notifications from her messages stood out the most to her.

 

23 MESSAGES FROM PIDGE.

15 MESSAGES FROM SHIRO.

8 MESSAGES FROM CORAN.

3 MESSAGES FROM NYMA.

6 MESSAGES FROM PLAXUM.

14 MESSAGES FROM ALLURA.

73 MESSAGES FROM HUNK.

415 MESSAGES FROM KEEF <3.

 

     Four hundred and fifteen messages from "Keef." Rachel couldn't help but wonder what had happened since June. Especially if these were 415 that had not been opened yet. "Mom?" Rachel asked, as both women turned to face her. "Do you mind clearing the data after school today? I'd feel a bit stressed if we tried to get it done this morning."

     "Of course, sweetie. You can write your friends' numbers on a piece of paper to input tonight!" her dark-haired mother suggested. Rachel nodded, as her mothers left the room, both giving her a kiss on the top of her head. She scanned through the most recent messages with "Keef," noticing their remarks about someone knowing about another person's death.  She was thoroughly confused; being a curious and nosy twelve-year-old, she started to scroll through all their messages. Reminding herself that there were over four hundred, she came to an abrupt halt. She knew what she was planning to do on the bus ride to and from school today: a boat load of reading.

 

**I'm sorry, who is this?**

_what?_

_hello?_

_lance?_

**No, sorry. My name is Rachel. I'm twelve.**

_i'm keith_

_sorry, i didn't think anyone would use this phone._

**Who is Lance?**

_oh haha he used to own this phone_

_he was...sort of my boyfriend_

_almost? idk_

**Was?**

**What happened?**

_he passed_

**Oh, I'm really sorry.**

**Are you one of the guys in the background?**

_don't worry about it._

_you wouldn't have known._

_wait._

_background?_

**Yeah**

**There's a picture of two boys set as the screensaver, are you one of them?**

_i don't know_

_i'm pale_

_i have long black hair_

**Oh yeah, you're the one on the right.**

_i'm on his screensaver?_

_i'm..honestly flattered_

_hey_

_could you send me that picture?_

**Yeah, of course!**

_how'd you get this phone?_

**I got it for my birthday!**

_that's so neat rachel!_

_i didn't have a phone until i was 16 haha_

_happy birthday!_

**Thank you!**

**My mom said for my birthday I can order this jacket that I really want off of K &L Shirts! **

**Do you know that company?**

_do i know that company?_

_rachel_

_sweetheart_

_you won't believe me but_

_i AM k &l shirts _

_started it myself_

**OMG no way! All of the cool kids at my school wear your shirts!**

**Do you really own it?**

_yeah! i'll prove it_

_send me a picture of the jacket you like and i'll get it to you for free of cost, including shipping._

_actually_

_name at least five things you like and they're all yours, entirely free_

**No way no way no wayyy!!**

**Thank you so much!!!**

**Keith, right?**

_right :-)_

**Thank you so much Keith :DDDD**

_my pleasure, rachel_

_happy birthday_

fin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading!!!


End file.
